Saturday, March 10, 2007

Going public

So this is my 26th blog entry. It's been over a month since I have been web journaling here, now. I'm starting to get the feeling it is time to go public with this blog soon. I feel like I have gotten quite a few signs that it is time. Part of me is very afraid. But I feel that making and maintaining a public blog of the foods I am eating, the activities I am engaging in, and the feelings I am having is an opportunity for me to grow and possibly for others to learn or gain something from. So here goes:

I went to bed at 1:30AM and woke up at 5:00AM. I did NOT feel like getting out of bed this morning. I felt tired (3 and 1/2 hours is not the amount of sleep I like to function on), but more importantly, sad. I was able to shake the feeling of sadness pretty quickly (thank goodness!) and by the time I hit the rode around 6:15, I was feeling pretty high on life and singing along loudly to good old Edith Frost. It got me humming pretty tunes to myself while I set up for the market, too. I also got to see the sun rise on the way there and it was beautiful. Today was a great market.

The weather was perfect and lots of people were there! I got home around 2 and made my usual salad (mixed greens, 1/2 avocado, 1/8 cup soaked pumpkin seeds and a honey/dijon mustard/apple cider vinegarette). I followed this with about 2-3 oz garlic curry dip by itself. Then 12 oz or so of chocolate almond milk. I still wanted something sweet, so I fixed a dessert of cashew butter/honey/cacao nibs. It was delicious!!! But then comes the bad news: things went a little downhill from there. I got tired and lost my vivacity and energy. I also started to feel sad and bummed out again:( I decided to lie down for a little while. While I was lying down I continued to feel sad and bummed out. Why??? I think these feelings might be connected to the honey and agave I consumed? Does sugar give me the blues? I wish I had this all figured out. I don't like being bummed out. Actually, these recent feelings the last couple of weeks of sadness and loneliness are a wonderful opportunity. I know something good will come from them. I feel like they are going to shift soon.

Around 7:30, I wasn't particularly hungry, but needed an energy boost, so I had 60 garlic almonds, and then about 1/3 cup candied walnuts. That was probably more than I needed but I don't mind because I remembered that HEY!!!! I am eating lots of wonderful raw foods successfully! I don't even want any cooked food right now, with the exception of Nur's leeks, of course:) That's a BIG DEAL! So what if I have been overeating here and there? I know it will not last, I know deep down that it is just part of my transition. I have come a long way so far and I am very grateful for that :) :) :)

Tomorrow is the raw food potluck in the park!!!!!!!! I am truly exited. I can't wait to share some of my food and thoughts with everyone and see how everyone is doing. I will also be taking lots and lots of wonderful pictures (surprise, surprise). I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a really special potluck ;)

Note: I had a good-sized BM around 3. It was a little soft and somewhat narrow and this surprised me because I thought the Barleymax was helping me out in that dept. (Shrug).

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