Saturday, June 16, 2007

How old am I?

I went to the beach with some of my family a few weeks ago. I learned/remembered something about my mom. She likes the seashells. Even the very, very small ones.

I had a dream this morning just before I woke up. I was with two friends from my childhood, but we were grown up. Not just grown up through. We were these beautiful, pure women. We were...our child selves in the most incredible forms. We met to go swimming together. We were at the beach, but then we walked out to this crazy spot where you could dive into the water from way up above. We just all sat at the top talking, looking down at the water. Being simple girls, just talking and laughing and experiencing pleasure. I was afraid to dive into the water (I have always been afraid of being in water) and was glad we were just sitting at the top. My friends...they understood. They didn't mind. Because they loved me so very much.

I feel different this morning. In the dream I was my child-self. Mostly just pure soul. Pureness. Innocence. Upon waking, I was flooded with all these childhood memories of those two friends and that time in my life. And how good we were and how simple we were and how simple life was. I felt like a part of my brain had opened back up this morning that I hadn't used since way back then.

Yesterday, I sat in my backyard eating a most delicious salad made up of mixed greens from the store, some sunflower greens and cherry tomatoes from the yard, and a creamy fresh basil dressing. Oh, and some some pine nuts. There were children playing in the yard next to mine. I watched them for a while. They were running ALL OVER! And giggling and shrieking and smiling. I used to do that. I want to do it again now.

I saw these pictures the other day of women my age in shorts and shirts jumping...just jumping sooooo gleefully! They were on a lawn. They were having so much fun. I want to jump with them! And do cartwheels and handstands and backbends and walk like a crab and sing songs and ride bikes maybe hula hoop and discover things together. Now THAT sounds like serious fun.

When I was at the beach a few weeks back, my mom and I went for a walk. We found this really special spot that had hundreds and hundreds of beautiful little shells.

This is my mom:

She makes some great faces. She's melodramatic (thats where I get it from).

I wonder if she realizes that she is more beautiful and special than all the shells in all the world. I love her very much.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Is it the raw foods, my friends? YOU must decide...

Hmmmm...where to begin??? How about some photos?

Here are some photos of my garden as of late...(click photos for full size view and descriptions)
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If you are curious, here is an album of the May NOLA (New Orleans Louisiana) Raw Food Potluck featuring raw foodist Mr. Matt Monarch.

Here are some scones I made the other day in the dehydrator (blueberry and vanilla flax):

I've been feeling like being quiet lately...thus the hiatus from blogging. I think I finally realized that all the things that are happening in my life have a lot less to do with raw foods and a lot more to do with me. This has been extremely liberating because now I can stop trying to "help" people eat raw. Here are a few things I wrote a little while ago and have been meaning to post:

I've noticed that as I take better and better care of myself, my capabilities are growing and increasing. I realize now that my main goal in life is to take care of myself. I will plan to do so through fresh air, diet, sunlight, movement and exercise, reading, keeping my mind open, practicing positivity and connecting to nature and the miracles that occur around me all the time.

I've recently experienced some disappointments. After letting some time pass, I now see that those disappointments were very very good - blessings in fact, and I am glad I felt them because they are helping me grow and go further. Each of us helps ourself in our own way and everyone's way is different. I'm beginning to see that however far along I am in actualizing my dreams and my potential has much less to do with raw foods and much more to do with:

-listening to my heart
-trusting myself
-loving myself
-forgiving myself
-be open to and curious about new ideas and ways of living
-seeing how beautiful I am and how beautiful this world is
-learning from within, and
-embracing this miraculous experience we call LIFE.

It has been such a burden off my shoulders to realize that I am responsible for my growth, not raw foods or anyone/anything else. Now I see more clearly that I don't need to preach to anyone about raw foods (please remind me of this if I forget!). I can offer my own experience if/when it is solicited, but I don't need to waste any more energy on helping people "go raw". After all, then I would be robbing them of the ability to help and heal themselves. I feel strongly that the keys to healing the world will come from within each individual. These realizations have released me to live my life and turn even more energy inward and towards myself and my own healing.

I had a nice thought today. I realized that I am living my dream life. I cannot ask for anything more. I may struggle along the way, but thank God for struggles!! They are the little miracles, the blessings, that occur so that we can push ourselves further. I hope I have LOTS more struggles in my life because I plan on going a lot further. I want to always grow. Maybe even death is a way of growing. I am ready to devote myself fully to taking the very best care I can of myself at absolutely all costs. For me this includes eating raw foods, growing my own food, surrounding myself as much as possible with other living things and therefore spending lots of time outside, among other things... All the rest will fall into its proper place.

Yours truly,

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