Saturday, June 16, 2007

How old am I?

I went to the beach with some of my family a few weeks ago. I learned/remembered something about my mom. She likes the seashells. Even the very, very small ones.

I had a dream this morning just before I woke up. I was with two friends from my childhood, but we were grown up. Not just grown up through. We were these beautiful, pure women. We were...our child selves in the most incredible forms. We met to go swimming together. We were at the beach, but then we walked out to this crazy spot where you could dive into the water from way up above. We just all sat at the top talking, looking down at the water. Being simple girls, just talking and laughing and experiencing pleasure. I was afraid to dive into the water (I have always been afraid of being in water) and was glad we were just sitting at the top. My friends...they understood. They didn't mind. Because they loved me so very much.

I feel different this morning. In the dream I was my child-self. Mostly just pure soul. Pureness. Innocence. Upon waking, I was flooded with all these childhood memories of those two friends and that time in my life. And how good we were and how simple we were and how simple life was. I felt like a part of my brain had opened back up this morning that I hadn't used since way back then.

Yesterday, I sat in my backyard eating a most delicious salad made up of mixed greens from the store, some sunflower greens and cherry tomatoes from the yard, and a creamy fresh basil dressing. Oh, and some some pine nuts. There were children playing in the yard next to mine. I watched them for a while. They were running ALL OVER! And giggling and shrieking and smiling. I used to do that. I want to do it again now.

I saw these pictures the other day of women my age in shorts and shirts jumping...just jumping sooooo gleefully! They were on a lawn. They were having so much fun. I want to jump with them! And do cartwheels and handstands and backbends and walk like a crab and sing songs and ride bikes maybe hula hoop and discover things together. Now THAT sounds like serious fun.

When I was at the beach a few weeks back, my mom and I went for a walk. We found this really special spot that had hundreds and hundreds of beautiful little shells.

This is my mom:

She makes some great faces. She's melodramatic (thats where I get it from).

I wonder if she realizes that she is more beautiful and special than all the shells in all the world. I love her very much.


shell said...

you and your mom look like twins!

Claire said...

Your Mom looks so young!

Just wanted to say what an inspiration I find your blog to be too.


Valerie Winters said...

How sweet that you love your mom so much. Great photos.

If you are interested in dream interpretation, here is what an on-line source said about diving.

To dream that you are diving into clear water, signifies an end to an embarrassing situation. Although you may experience some temporary setbacks, things will surely look up. Additionally, this dream may mean that you are trying to get to the bottom of a current situation and the root of your problems or feelings. It may also refer exploration of your unconscious.
To dream that you are diving into muddy water, signifies that you will suffer anxiety from the path of your affairs.
To see others diving in your dream, represents psychological and emotional balance.


Anonymous said...

Audry - not fair posting pictures of your sister and saying that's your Mom! Unless ---- you are a lot younger than 26.
George (PapaGreyBeard)

Emma said...

Your mum looks so young!

Audry said...

You guys! I'm chuckling at all of this. I'm not sure you realize how tickled pink my mother would be to read all these complimentary remarks! She loves it when people think we are sisters. These would have her giggling with glee. I can't tell her about this, of course, because then she will kill me for posting photos of her online! But I couldn't resist sneaking a few up here:)

Valerie, thank you so much for your insightful inclusion of the diving interpretation and dream interpretation link. I found it really interesting and eerily appropriate:) It was clear water in the dream, but I didn't dive in. I felt very peaceful and safe and joyful, though.

Claire, thank you for the complimentary feedback. I'm glad you are getting something out of these words I type:)

Hey PapaGreyBeard! Nice to hear from you here!

Thank you for stopping by, Emma:)

Shell, you are a beautiful mother, too!

Anonymous said...

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shell said...

hi lovely, in answer to the title of your post 'how old am i' i think the answer is 'as old (or young) as you feel!' It's so great to feel simple and youthful. It's kinda like (in my experience), in the process of growing up, & having all these responsibilities/disappointments etc. life is made more complicated, with layer upon defensive layer laid onto the innocence and simplicity of the inner child. Undoing that is a neverending process....but there is nothing to lose....but our baggage! (and that doesn't really belong to us either!) haha! Happy days beautiful sister :)