Monday, February 19, 2007
I woke up at seven today and then stayed in a half-awake dream state in bed until 10. So I got about four hours of cold solid sleep and three hours of half-awake sleep. Thats been the pattern lately. I've been having some really bizarre thoughts during these half-awake times, but I've been having some really creative ideas, too. I keep thinking about the new things I want to do during this sleep phase, like marching with the pussyfooters (a female dancing troupe in the Krewe of Muses), taking female carpentry courses, and singing/dancing with a band. These ideas have all been coming very strong to me during this part of my sleep. I've been thinking about my fears, lately, and how maybe I should try to confront some of them. For instance, maybe I need to go out and swim in some really super funky natural bodies of water. Maybe I need to be naked in public somehow. Those are the two that seem to be the scariest. I can imagine the swimming more easily than I can imagine getting naked in public. Thats funny. The latter seems a lot less dangerous. I am hoping to spend some much needed time out in nature today over at Jean Lafitte. I need to find some inner peace today.
I had an orange and 17 almond/flax crackers w/ a little cilantro dip, but mainly with Nur's leeks
The crackers and leeks from noontime have felt like rocks in my stomach. Maybe its because the leeks are cooked. Maybe its because 17 is too many crackers. I don't know. I felt somewhat unpleasantly full at least all the way up to 6 o clock! I still felt weird and full at 7, but I tried some food and it tasted good, so I had:
about 7 triple seed crackers with cilantro dip
12 oz. chocolate milk
And honestly, I feel a bit queasy right now. I also have been feeling a little aimless today. I went to Jean Lafitte and spent the afternoon there. It was nice, but not spectacular as I had hoped. I didn't feel real "high". But then around 5 or so, after the gates to the parking lot were locked, but I was still in the park, I did some wild dancing with my discman by the Bayou des Familles. That was the best part. The sun was in her last stages of setting and I felt totally free and spontaneous and open to the sky. I would like to do more of that. Now I am back home feeling a bit aimless again. Like I am waiting for something to happen. (sigh) Today is Lundi Gras. I am at home doing nothing special. Just making too big of a deal of whether I should check my myspace or not. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzz, Louuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise! Wish I was as high as Angela Stokes sounds--Oh, she answered my questions on her blog!!!!!!!!! That was AWESOME!!!!
I still can't get my camera pictures into the computer:(((( Crud! (more sighs) Maybe I should go out tonight and look for some excitement. I can't make up my mind, so I will just surrender to my own state of indecision for now.