Gosh, it feels good to garden

(9:11 PM)
Hi. So I need to be honest and tell everyone that I went through a little dip yesterday and last night, especially. My day started off well enough. It was rainy and gray most of the day so I spent a lot of time on the computer. Too much time. I've noticed that I have the tendancy to expect the computer to stimulate me. Towards the end of the day I started feeling really antsy. All of this escalated in me eating more food than I needed to and having some feelings of anxiety. Its been a while since I felt feelings like that so strongly. However, I made it through those rough moments. It was very humbling to be having those feelings. I realized I still have so much work to do on myself. The good news is, I can focus on that work more than ever before, now that I have more time and energy to do so.

Here is what I ate yesterday:
3 oranges
cacao dessert
big usual salad
cacao dessert (then things went amiss because I was not hungry anymore but decided to eat a lot more food)
200 garlic almonds
11-12 dates with cashew butter

As I said, I was feeling pretty weird the rest of the night after the almonds and dates. Not so hot. But I made it through. I slept outside last night (damp ground and all) and that immediately made me feel better before I went to bed. I think there is a lot to be said for fresh air. And it wasn't just any fresh air, some of it was the fresh air that my new plants in the garden are making. At least I like to think so. I went to bed around 11 or midnight and woke up around 8. I love hearing the birds chirping all around me so clearly first thing in the morning. I would like to build a sleeping contraption for myself out in the backyard. One that will help me utilize a mosquito net and a rain tarp and that will be preferably portable. I have no idea what it will look like yet. If you have any ideas, please send them my way.

I took it real easy today. I woke up and just sat outside in my pajamas with my discman and listened to some David Wolfe lectures. I cleaned some things in the kitchen. I finished off the mound of dishes, finally:) I did some stretching. I fixed a coconut/Barleymax drink around noon and it made me sleepy - my guess is that all that green powder was hard at work cleaning out my body. So I took a nice long nap. Then I woke up and fixed another coconut/Barleymax drink. Both of the drinks really felt good and hit the spot. I was smiling to myself shortly after I drank the first one and things only have gotten better since then. It was sunny in the afternoon, so I ate an orange and spent some time lying out in the sun. That hit the spot, too:) I love being out in the sun. Not during its strongest hours but the late morning and late afternoon hours. I try not to be out in the sun very much b/t the hours of 11:30 and 3. It feels so strong. After my time in the sun, I was ready to work in the garden. I spent the rest of the day doing just that. I took a break for a big usual salad and 2 cacao desserts and then got back to it. It felt good to be away from the computer all day. I might do that some more. OK, an hour or so ago, I just fixed another cacao dessert. All in all, I'm really proud of myself for all the things I did today to make myself feel better. And I do feel better. Working in the garden made me start to feel really joyful again. I look forward to riding this wave for a little while. I'll keep you posted.

Audry