Saturday, April 14, 2007


(photo: Have you ever seen this before? I don't mean to be dirty in any way, I just thought it was neat)

Hmmmm...where to begin?

I'll start with a nice realization that I had yesterday about my body. I was sitting out in the backyard in my bathing suit in the sun, watching and observing my body as it moved, admiring the genius behind it all, when I realized that it had nothing to do with me. I love to admire and watch mine and other peoples' (and plants' and animals' and natures') bodies. They are so fascinating and mesmerizing...Sometimes its difficult not to stare...But whilst gazing away at myself (its safe b/c I don't mind my stares), a few new liberating thoughts struck me. I don't quite know how to phrase this, but I will do my best: I realized that I don't own my body. That it is not me at all. It is just a group of cells amidst many other groups of cells (all the other bodies). I have the liberty to play and experiment with this body more so than other ones, but in general, I have very little to do with the genius work of my body. I have very little to do with the patterns my veins have formed underneath my skin and the exact moments that my heart beats and the color of my eyes and the fact that I am breathing.

I've never done magic mushrooms before - albeit, I hope to - but I keep hearing how they give you a glimpse of enlightenment. Well, I felt like I got a taste of that when I had this realization experience. I'm always associating my 'self' with my body and trying to figure out if I am happy with it, if it is good enough, etc etc. But my body is the same as everyone elses! And everyone else's body belongs to me just as much as it belongs to them (b/c it really doesn't belong to them). So all the women whose bodies I admire and long for - GUESS WHAT- those are my bodies! Those bodies belong to me just as much as mine does! (Does this make sense???)

Well, I have to make one note here - I do have a little something to do with my body: I am my body's steward. In the same way that I have a responsibility to be a good steward of the earth and other beings that inhabit it, I have a responsibility to take the best care I can of this body. Having said that, I also have the responsibility to take the best care I can of everyone else's bodies. And in some ways, by taking care of one, I take care of the other also. Its was so freeing to realize this because I don't have to feel bad about my body anymore. I have the tendency to let negative thoughts regarding my body inhabit my mind. My body is beautiful and it is good enough and it is a work of genius and its a gift. Its a gift to have the opportunity to experience it. And now I don't have to worry about it!!!! I just get to watch it and observe it and appreciate it. And take good care of it.

I'm doing good, ya'll. I love getting so high on life like this...Moving on to food! Yesterday I had:

1 Coco/Bmax drink
lots of sweet tea, more than 32 oz.

a large usual salad
2-3 cacao desserts

50 garlic almonds

another cacao dessert
1 carrot w/ pesto
wild blackberries w/ honey
royal jelly (not really my thing, but I wanted to try some)

As you can see, I am still experimenting with lots of cacao and trying to figure out how it makes me feel and how much of it (if any) I want to incorporate into my long-term diet. I've been stretching a LOT the last couple of days and my body is beginning to feel really awesome from it. I got a lot of sun yesterday, even a little burn, but not enough to hurt. I LOVE SUNSHINE. I do. I used to think I was being so lazy if I just sat out in the sun doing nothing, but I'm beginning to realize how terribly important and wonderful it is. Its totally cleansing and therapeutic, it puts me in such a great mood, and its very energizing if I make sure to stay hydrated and nap when the urge strikes. Sunshine fuels me in all these ways and therefore improves my overall performance for all the other things I am doing. I got quite a few more plants in the ground yesterday. I'm really excited because I ordered a bunch of exotic heirloom seeds last night. I want to try growing some crazy melon varieties!

Today I had:
1 coco/Bmax drink
1 1/2 c wild blacberries

1 cacao dessert
usual salad

3 cacao desserts (hee hee hee)

sweet tea

Tomorrow is the raw food potluck! I am very excited, as usual. I will be posting lots of new pictures soon.

One more exciting thing to note: I found and have been enjoying what is possibly one of the best raw food blogs out there:
The Sunny Raw Kitchen
It is created by a beautiful woman named Carmella

and is incredibly well organized, very informative, and very inspiring, honest and poignant. She has links in the right margin to tons of online raw food recipes, raw food websites, and other raw food blogs! And all of her food creations look so good that if you check them out yourself, visions of them will probably reoccur in your dreams. I've done a LOT of salivating while visiting her blog :0)

Sweet raw food dreams,


Gena said...

You are beautiful Audry! One of my favorite blogs; fantastic and inspirational insights! Thank you for sharing...

PS: LOOOOVE the bug photo!


Carmella said...

Hey Audry,
I hadn't had a chance to read your entire post until just now, and you're blowing my mind, girl!

I'm loving your writing style, your photos and all of your insights!

Thanks for sharing your journey in such a personal and genuine way,